Last night my daughter came face to face in the highschool parking lot with the man who once hung the moon, and who no longer does. She could have rightfully walked by him without acknowledging him. She could have spoken to him the exact way he last spoke to her, which was awful. She could [...]
This photo now shows all that it had before and so much more. It isn't just the addition of another person; it showcases life. Real, down to the nitty-gritty life in all it's glory and differences. It shows dedication, commitment and choosing each other - even on the really difficult days. The days when people who have been blessed in not experiencing the blending of two families, will almost always misunderstand us. The days when I'm told I will never be his "real" mom because he has a biological mother already. The days he is told he is not my "real" son because I didn't give him life. Those are the days we choose each other more and now we are very much mother and son.
Because here is the thing, right now you are letting them down, not your ex. In a matter of years that will fly by like seconds, there will be weddings, children and life events - and it will be you let down when the invites are no longer extended. It will be you alone without a choice because you chose anything and everything except your children. All you have to do is show up. It really is that easy.
Co-parenting with a narcissist is like being the tin man from the wizard of oz, having motion sickness, on the downward spiral of a roller coaster, with a loose harness, after eating ice cream and 5 corn dogs - doing the tango with a peg leg and an eye patch all the while sewing back together and re-stuffing down feathered pillows your dog chewed up and scattered throughout the back forty - it's freaking difficult!!