"This family photo was as forced as the smiles on our faces. Behind each of our smiles was exhaustion, disappointment, frustration, stress and the faith of the tiniest mustard seed."
Every year just before Christmas, my husband’s grandma would call him and invite us to the family breakfast at our local Elmer’s restaurant. “Matthew, this is Grandma”, she’d say, and he would respond by saying, “Yes Grandma, I know it is you, it says your name in my phone” and they would share a laugh.
Did I feel like a jerk and a failure on the days when I couldn't hang with the super stepmoms? Sure. But you can't base your days or family dynamics on other blended families or stepparents. It's okay to not have it figured out, it's the quitting that's bad. You have to ask yourself why God has put you where you are and how you can be used for good. There is a purpose to his plan, and you are more than capable.
If I am being honest with myself, I knew when he asked to call me mom, my answer was not coming from a kind and loving place. I knew I was coming from a "you already have a mom, and you are her responsibility, not mine" type of place. And, a place of "you are too much "work" for me."
Co-parenting with a narcissist is like being the tin man from the wizard of oz, having motion sickness, on the downward spiral of a roller coaster, with a loose harness, after eating ice cream and 5 corn dogs - doing the tango with a peg leg and an eye patch all the while sewing back together and re-stuffing down feathered pillows your dog chewed up and scattered throughout the back forty - it's freaking difficult!!
Respecting our elders. General kindness and courtesy. Minding your own business. Giving the benefit of the doubt. The Golden Rule. Not judging a book by its cover. Owning and Rectifying our mistakes. Getting to know someone ourselves.Growing up it was expected that I lived by this list of expectations. If there wasn't enough of something... Continue Reading →
Have you ever awoke from a dream that was so intense and real that your heart breaks as you open your eyes? I dreamt about him again, and its such a double edged sword because even though for the duration of the dream we're together again, there is always the waking up that rips him... Continue Reading →
We were, or I guess...I was nominated by someone, somewhere for my blog. It was entered into a Step-parenting contest with fifty...yes 50! other stepparents who share the same passion as I do. And...we ranked in at #5! How fantastic is that? And, how do you thank someone that you have no idea who they... Continue Reading →
Being a mom means more than having given birth to a child. Its loving and knowing a soul before you even see it. It’s carrying, and caring for a life completely depending on you for survival. It’s giving air to the lungs that grew with-in you, and sight to the eyes that will never see... Continue Reading →