Walk all over me, please.

Sometimes I’m genuinely intrigued by people who perceive me as defenseless or even a pushover. It makes me want to say “excuse me,” as I tap on their shoulder, “what is it exactly in my overall appearance ( pointing at myself in a circular motion) or personality that screams “walk all over me” and gives you the idea that I will actually fold and lay flat like a board? Is it my hair? My customer service voice? Ooh ooh, I know… I used to be married to someone you know, huh, and now were enemies for funsies cause your loyal, right?” Truly, I could go on for days as to why people pre-determine my personality traits and worth, but their opinion of me, is none of my business. It all boils down to the simple fact of – you don’t know me! For those that do, know that once I am told I can no longer do something, I’ll do it again for spite.

Some may say it’s a lack in maturity, or what I say, just a blunt reminder that I will do as I please, whether you like it or not. The reason being is that this life is my own, the heart that loves/fights for whatever necessary reason in any moment I choose, is my own. The mind that races at night with worry, concern, memories and plans, again, is my own. As are my actions and any repercussions that follow.

You have a choice to exit my life, at any given moment the door is always open for you to do so. Rarely will I hold for you as you exit, or lock it behind you, but I will most assuredly not prevent you from walking out of it. Your life, if you choose to have me in it, will get easier once you understand I am not going to change. I love the person I am, I love what I fight for, I love what I believe in, and who I believe in. Your absence will never be a loss for me, because there is only more to gain by no longer being surrounded by negativity and people who are bothered by my refusal to be silenced.

My mistakes are just that, mine. If I make mistakes ten times a day, every day, for the rest of my life, they are no more your business from the first mistake to the last. It is my path, and I will travel it by whatever means necessary, regardless of where the hand on the clock lies, and you can’t bet your sweet nosy tush, I will learn something new along the way each and every time. My journey is personal and specific to my growth into the woman I become more of each day. Some days our paths will appear similar, and some days we will take a different course only to arrive at the same destination. The difference in course is how we will come to enjoy the same destination together.

My beliefs are no less important than yours, nor are my priorities, except that to us individually they are significant and critical in the forefront of our lives. They are what propel us forward, the motivation and dedication that burns in our souls. We will not always see eye to eye and I care not to, purposely. My opinions are loud, but they are never one-sided or judgmental – they come from a personal experience of either gain or loss. You decide if my opinion matters to you, and vice versa – individually the person chooses to validate or reject it. The power belongs to the beholder, just as does beauty.

Any relationship I choose to nurture with someone is important and on it’s own merit. If you betray or bring about pain to myself or someone I love and care for, I will not sit in silence, hang my head nor be fearful of speaking up. I will most likely refer you to the second paragraph – and gladly hold the door.

I’m at the point in my life, where the quality of the person, reflects my effort. My children are my main priority, I choose every day to love, trust and believe in GOD, and to live my life without regret. I know my heart, and the goodness it contains, it is not my intent nor desire to persuade you in or out of loving me. I love myself enough for the both of us, and my value will never decrease because we’re in disagreement over my worth.

Dads are kind-of Awesome!

Dad verses mom appears to be an easy win for Moms, right? You’d think it would be a slam dunk because we are natural multi-taskers, nurturers, nurses, teachers, homemakers, maids, etc. I mean, come on, we literally do it all! Or, do we? We can tease them and share random facts which are absolutely true and humorous like these things…

Dads never sleep, they are simply resting their eyes. Even if they are snoring – they are resting their eyes damn it!

Dads can’t change diapers, they will throw up! It is a scientific fact – proven by the obnoxious, melodramatic gagging met my our mere thought of even asking for help.

Dads can’t go grocery shopping. Cheap, coupons, budget and list are not words that exist in his vocabulary.

Dads have a whole different time frame. In a minute – can literally be in a minute or the minute they see you actually doing what you asked.

Dads clean house without being asked for three reasons. 1. Sex 2. They want something 3. They did something already.

However, the truth is dads are kind-of AWESOME!   Yes, there are single parents who fulfill the role of both parents, and this isn’t meant to negate that in any way… but there are some things I think dads just do better than moms. 

First, dads know sports. They are the first to teach competition, the desire and drive to win, to be #1, the absolute best at anything and everything. They teach dedication, practice makes perfect and its okay to fall down as long as you get back up again. And, it’s a bonus for Moms because there is nothing more sexier than seeing your spouse out playing sports with the kids!

Second, dads understand that “mom doesn’t understand”. I mean, who better to understand being misunderstood than dad, right? You can tell him everything, and he can completely sympathize.

Third, dads are a sons best friend. They know everything boys. Video games, sports, fishing, ball games, hunting, you name it they can do it together!  They also know all about those “changes”, why your son is still in the shower, why mom may not want to clean up those dirty socks on the floor, or lift up the mattress at a certain age. Needless to say anything further.

Fourth, dads are natural conquerors. Whatever you need, they have an idea of what they can construct to do it! They can also get anything down from the ceiling, the roof, the top shelf etc. They know just how to fix, or repair whatever a child needs especially if it creates a project! (Extra kudos if said project supersedes mom’s honey do list) Same with lessons on cars, car repairs, etc. They are great at teaching with their hands, those are their best tools.

Fifth, dads are a daughters first love. A simple bat of the eyes, and daddy you are my favorite teaches little girls and grown women how to get exactly what they want! They are natural protectors and create that first sense of safety for a little girl. Daddy’s are everything to a little girl. They don’t care that she doesn’t wear a skirt, or that she has dirt on her face, they love that she can bait a hook, and loves to play with worms – they love little girls who can be boys when the time calls for it. (Now, boys that want to be girls…that’s a whole different ballgame)

Sixth, dads are calm. They diffuse situations and make sense out things, they are a natural peacemaker between mom and her children. You can call dad and even if he is pissed, disappointed or hurt, he will remedy what he can. He will also let you fall on your face, if it proposes to teach a good lesson.

The final thing I think dads do best, is teaching their children how to be a good husband, father, wife and mother. They watch the relationship between mom and dad, they see the way dads are supposed to be, how dad treats mom, and it sets forth an example and expectations for both sons and daughters. It is best said in this quote “The best thing a father can do for his children, is love their mother” and it is quite true.

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