Walk all over me, please.

Sometimes I’m genuinely intrigued by people who perceive me as defenseless or even a pushover. It makes me want to say “excuse me,” as I tap on their shoulder, “what is it exactly in my overall appearance ( pointing at myself in a circular motion) or personality that screams “walk all over me” and gives you the idea that I will actually fold and lay flat like a board? Is it my hair? My customer service voice? Ooh ooh, I know… I used to be married to someone you know, huh, and now were enemies for funsies cause your loyal, right?” Truly, I could go on for days as to why people pre-determine my personality traits and worth, but their opinion of me, is none of my business. It all boils down to the simple fact of – you don’t know me! For those that do, know that once I am told I can no longer do something, I’ll do it again for spite.

Some may say it’s a lack in maturity, or what I say, just a blunt reminder that I will do as I please, whether you like it or not. The reason being is that this life is my own, the heart that loves/fights for whatever necessary reason in any moment I choose, is my own. The mind that races at night with worry, concern, memories and plans, again, is my own. As are my actions and any repercussions that follow.

You have a choice to exit my life, at any given moment the door is always open for you to do so. Rarely will I hold for you as you exit, or lock it behind you, but I will most assuredly not prevent you from walking out of it. Your life, if you choose to have me in it, will get easier once you understand I am not going to change. I love the person I am, I love what I fight for, I love what I believe in, and who I believe in. Your absence will never be a loss for me, because there is only more to gain by no longer being surrounded by negativity and people who are bothered by my refusal to be silenced.

My mistakes are just that, mine. If I make mistakes ten times a day, every day, for the rest of my life, they are no more your business from the first mistake to the last. It is my path, and I will travel it by whatever means necessary, regardless of where the hand on the clock lies, and you can’t bet your sweet nosy tush, I will learn something new along the way each and every time. My journey is personal and specific to my growth into the woman I become more of each day. Some days our paths will appear similar, and some days we will take a different course only to arrive at the same destination. The difference in course is how we will come to enjoy the same destination together.

My beliefs are no less important than yours, nor are my priorities, except that to us individually they are significant and critical in the forefront of our lives. They are what propel us forward, the motivation and dedication that burns in our souls. We will not always see eye to eye and I care not to, purposely. My opinions are loud, but they are never one-sided or judgmental – they come from a personal experience of either gain or loss. You decide if my opinion matters to you, and vice versa – individually the person chooses to validate or reject it. The power belongs to the beholder, just as does beauty.

Any relationship I choose to nurture with someone is important and on it’s own merit. If you betray or bring about pain to myself or someone I love and care for, I will not sit in silence, hang my head nor be fearful of speaking up. I will most likely refer you to the second paragraph – and gladly hold the door.

I’m at the point in my life, where the quality of the person, reflects my effort. My children are my main priority, I choose every day to love, trust and believe in GOD, and to live my life without regret. I know my heart, and the goodness it contains, it is not my intent nor desire to persuade you in or out of loving me. I love myself enough for the both of us, and my value will never decrease because we’re in disagreement over my worth.

Top Step-Parent Blog!

Top-10-Step-Parenting-Blogs-200We were, or I guess…I was nominated by someone, somewhere for my blog. It was entered into a Step-parenting contest with fifty…yes 50! other stepparents who share the same passion as I do. And…we ranked in at #5! How fantastic is that? And, how do you thank someone that you have no idea who they are? My best guess would be to continue doing what I have been for the past few years – and one day when my first book is published it can include this anonymous person who believed in me – because it has made a monumental difference.

Its hard to share the love of what you do with people who register writing and blogging as rather insignificant. “What is blogging? Who cares about that? Big deal! I have better things to do with my time” are all things I have heard people say – and while I let it affect me way down somewhere – those comments don’t matter to me today. You, the readers and followers, the stepparents, parents, friends and family are who matters. If we all went off of what the naysayers say – we would never follow our dreams. Besides, the fuel in my life has always been “those people” who didn’t think I could do it, because I love the moments like this…where I do.

So, for today I am going to relish in this small step towards the life impacting writing I hope to do in the many years to come – and to thank you for your continued involvement and support in my blogging.

Read the article here on all of the Top Ten:

http://voiceboks.com/top-10-step-parenting-blogs-of-2014/

Blog post

And the award goes to…ME! and you and you too.

After a day of feeling like my blog only existed to rid me of stress – I was informed I won a blogging award called the Liebster Award – which is an award from bloggers to bloggers – which I like!

Having received this from Stef over at Momspirational, it is necessary to let anyone know that she is one blogger you have to check out. Especially, a little story about Cameltoe – just trust me.

Here are the rules for the Liebster Award.

  • Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
  • Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
  • Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
  • Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post.  Go to their page and tell them.
  • No tag backs. 

So, 11 things about me, that no one knows…this may be difficult – I am running out of secrets.

1.  I hate seafood completely. If it swims in a liquid it can’t come near my mouth – my husband will beg to differ 😉

2. My favorite movie is Dirty Dancing – Nobody puts baby in a corner!

3.  I am terrified of snakes – even the fake rubbery ones in the stores – The hubs and kids think its hilarious!

4.  I entered America’s Next Author, you have a chance to win $5000.00 and I am way out of my league.

5.  I am 9, yes NINE years older than my husband and 9 years younger than my mother-in-law.

6.  I’m a  First Degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do – or at-least I was when I was 12 –

7.  My daughter laughs when I laugh, because she says my laugh is loud and weird – What am I supposed to do with that?

8.  We have two dogs Jager and Bella – Love Jager , Bella poops and vomits too much for my taste!

9.  I do not have a hero

10. I get irritated easily, and expect things to get done on my time frame – which is crappy I know!

11.  I wish I understood the reason men watch porn? And how it has nothing to do with wanting that type of woman or being different than the wife? It boggles me.

Questions Momspirational asked: 

1.  If you could go back to one specific year, which year would it be? Do I have to stay and start over, or just visit for a day? For a day visit – I choose 1983 – to start over – I choose to stay where I am.

2.  Is it ever okay to lie?  Why or why not? Is it ever okay to burp or fart, not really but we make excuses as to why. I will always lie if someone asks me if I think they are fat or ugly – I promise!

3.  Who is your hero? No one

4.  What is one thing (besides your family) that you could not live without. SUGAR -No Candy is like going to Prison for me.

5.  What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given? If its something God has sent your way, he will not make you sin in order to have it.

6.  What is your favorite sports team? Georgia Bulldogs – only cause I lived in GA and love Bulldogs. No clue who is on the team or if a team still exists….

7.  What is your biggest pet peeve? Parents who allow their kids to scream and misbehave in public – they tune them out and I CAN’T!

8.  What would you choose for your last meal? Grilled Chicken strips sauteed in butter and garlic, mashed potatoes and corn.

9.  What is your biggest regret in life to date? None – I truthfully do not regret anything and wouldn’t change it.

10.  If you could be anyone besides yourself – who would you be and why? I would want to be a man – they have it easy.

11.  If you could spend one day doing your favorite thing, what would that be? Sleeping, easily!!

My Lucky 11 Questions I know you are all just dying to answer..drum roll please.

  1. Are you a morning person or a night person?
  2. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
  3. Name one person you love the most and one person you hate the most.
  4. If we were a couple and we had a fight, how would you try to patch things up?
  5. What is the funniest prank played on you or played by you?
  6. If given a choice, which animal would you want to be? Why?
  7. Who was your first crush? Did you ever tell him/her about your feelings?
  8. If you could have a luncheon with any three people (real or fictitious/from any time period/dead or alive), which three people would you choose and why?
  9. Which is your most cherished childhood memory? What kind of kid were you, naughty or nice?
  10. If given complete freedom to start afresh, what profession would you choose and why?
  11. Ninjas or pirates?

And the nominations are:

A Plucky Procrastinator

The Mommy Chronicles

Momaical

Diary of an Unbreakable Mom

The Robot Mommy

Autism with a side a fries

Martinis and Minivans

Frugalista Blog

The Childless Stepmom

You Know It Happens at Your House Too

A Family Rearranged

 

How do they do it?

It would make me feel better if the only successful writers were over 40, because that’s when the kids are grown and gone. My life has consisted of my children and my dream, there has only been one dream and it has never died – its a nagging reminder that everyday I fail. Looking around me I see mothers of twins, mothers that home-school, stay at home moms and so on, all writing, all managing to figure it out. Can someone please tell me why I am the only one unable to do this? What mistake am I making? Do these moms not have bills to pay, inquisitive children, husbands that need them and a house to clean?

It almost frustrates me to the point of saying – forget it! This is pointless. Blogging isn’t easy – its time consuming and thought provoking. Sure I can blog out some crap about why the sky is blue and how my child cant say his L’s very well – but really, who wants to hear that? It wouldn’t and doesn’t make me read other blogs about those topics. I try to make what I write about something, to have a point, to  interact, reach out and touch someone – to make them feel like they aren’t alone in the crazy world of being so many things to so many people. I am only one person – and this person is…is… see i don’t even know!

Being a wife and mother is my greatest accomplishment and joy. However, being a wife and mom sucks sometimes – I am not even going to lie. My husband can irritate the shit out of me, and push every wrong button in a ten second time frame, easily. He is not unlike any other husband I am sure – they all have that miracle in a bottle ready to spray and shoot just when it will piss you off the most.

My husband and I are so much alike that we butt heads, and the thrill of being right, or more intelligent (which is always me) is always at the surface.  Just like last night – our grass is brown – well, brown with little hopeful patches of green. In the attempt to now after – oh I don’t know – Three Months of SUMMER – my husband has decided it is time to rejuvenate it. His way of doing this is of course to turn the water on for 2 hours twice a day! My thoughts – there goes our water bill, and what a waste, it will rain in a month for how many months – the grass will come back on its own for FREE! But, he is the man – therefore he knows all. The clincher of this wonderful evening of sprinkler fun is that the sprinklers are set to the front door – so the kids think its fun and exciting to time it and make a run for it, I do not. In fact, I will not are you kidding me?? Turn off the freaking sprinklers and let me walk into the home without getting soaked or making a mad dash for it, especially when its been on for a freaking hour and a half already – COME ON!  My head hurts…

My children, wonderful, smart, loving children – are crazy. They are loud, often talking for no reason at all, accept to hear the sound of their voice. Thanks to Netflix and the series “Make it or Break It” (which for those of you who aren’t familiar with it, its about gymnastics) my front room is now a gym – where sideways tumbling, cartwheels gone mad and all furniture is arranged to accommodate their rendition of the Olympics. With the beauty and intelligence my daughter possesses – its insane to me the poor girl can’t do a cartwheel to save her life- makes her namesake fitting since her name is Grace. On the other hand Mr. Man my 7 year old can do it all – I just pray he doesn’t come out in a leotard – my husband would have a fit!

The kids know when I am doing three things: Working on the computer, Going to the bathroom, Focusing – they see this and I swear they go into a bedroom and devise a plan to hack in and invade! Actually – now that I think of it, I think my husband is on it to. In our home mommy potty time has somehow turned into family meeting time, one kid will come in with a question, which is followed by my daughter who at that time desperately needs to fix or do her hair, and then my husband who will come in and tell them all to give mom some privacy only to prop one butt cheek on the counter and start chatting. I’m screwed-

Somewhere between all this madness, school, homework (which lord don’t even get me started) dinner, football practice & softball practice I’m given how much writing time exactly?? But, my husband is always quick with “well write your book already!” ughhh – am I letting him down to? Every night while I am at my sons football practice – the laptop is my best friend. I sit back from the other moms – and try to write or fit in some research and they all look at me like – why can’t I leave my work at home – and some days I care and sometimes I don’t – but still hate the stares and the anti-Facebook moms of the world – ehh who cares! 

Like any other person with a dream I set goals, this week was to get my Facebook page noticed by more people, get more people involved etc. Except I don’t want likes – because its a contest to see who gets the most. That’s fake to me – like my page because its of worth to you in some manner – not because someone told you to, and your just going to hide it in your feed any how! So, I work – I try to get information out there, try to be supportive to the women and sometimes men that come needing or wanting help. Then when I log on and see a page that is sky rocketing in likes because all these others pages are “pimping” them out – I think, “damn- guess I don’t have what it takes”! What is it that those pages have that all the other pages like so much, why when they are doing the pimping section of the week, isn’t my page in it? Then – I think – my page is different then just any ole page – this is what I want to do with my life. This is serious – and real. Those pages maybe aren’t – maybe they are just fun for them? Who knows-  Sometimes life just is hard – sometimes things don’t make sense and sometimes people aren’t gonna like ya – and there isn’t anything you can do about it – but move on & forward!

See you next blog – Jess

 

 

Attention world…I am now an awarded StepMom!

In case you weren’t already convinced of my Step-Mom awesomeness – this AWARD now proves it!

Today after meeting with my publisher with the list of oh so many things to do, I received the Laine Blogger Award from a wonderful fellow blogging Mom,  Mom-Spirational, and for a second I was reminded how great I must actually be!

There is of course, as with any hard earned award, a catch.  I must now share with you all the answers to 5 super embarrassing and hugely evasive questions ( you only wish) and then pass on this daunting task to 5 other equally if not more deserving bloggers who I personally think ROCK the sense of BEAUTY in a blogging sense.

So here goes.

1.  What is Your Current Beauty Obsession?

Easily Victoria’s Secret Such a Flirt body lotion. There is something to be said for a lotion that takes a rushed 10 minute shower of a thirty-something mom of 3, whose children believe that shower time is not private time, nor any time in the bathroom for that matter (see there is the evasive embarrassing part) and makes you feel like you just soaked in starfruit and white orchid milk bath! Oh the secrets Victoria holds.

2.  What is the One Beauty Item You Wish You Owned?

A secret high tech weapon that terrified the crap out of any hair on my body and didn’t cost a dime! No shaving, no tweezing my eyebrows or sitting in the car at a stoplight utilizing the BEST natural light that finds every imperfection and those same 3 chin hairs that pop up in the same spot every other day…but then again what would I do without the need for that control of finding and plucking those little boogers!?!

3.  What is Your Favorite Topic To Read About?

Honest, true-life, biographies about any person that wasn’t/isn’t afraid to admit to the world that they messed up, didn’t follow the path of everyone else, that did their own thing, and figured life out. People baring their souls to the judgement of our ridiculous world is very inspiring!

4. What Inspired You to Become a Blogger?

In short, you always hear people say they didn’t ask for your opinion, or want it. Well in my opinion my opinion is a good one to matter, so I made a place where people come for just that, MY OPINION!

However, on a more real side, I like millions of others, have been through hell and back – and with what I have been through, there is no way I could let the lessons I struggled though, the paths I built one pebble at a time, go un-shared, and un-validated to the many people who need to know they aren’t alone.

5.  What nail polish are you wearing right now?

Nail polish – nope, nada – ACRYLIC – Rockstar Baby!! Its a sparkly blue which makes the sounds on the keys as I type either as happy or irritated as I feel like being.

And now for the awesome part…..My 5 choices of blogging awesomeness

A family Rearranged

Becoming a Stepmom

A Blogger and a Father

Strong Stepmom

SooperDad Blog of Awesomeness

Thanks again for blog-spiration!