Sometimes out of nowhere I will get a sinking feeling in my stomach, it becomes hard to breathe and I feel as though I could slip into a panic attack if I allow it. I've managed to get to a point now where I recognize the signs of it coming and can usually talk myself [...]
This girl; she is more common than you realize. She is your sister, your mother, your wife or girlfriend. She is the lady beside you at church that cries every Sunday. She is your grandmother, your teacher, your coach, your therapist, your doctor; or maybe she is you. And, she is just as loved by God as you are. We don't know her backstory, we don't know what led her to a choice we may not choose or understand, and very few understand the torment that consumes her life after she realizes what she's done.
Every year just before Christmas, my husband’s grandma would call him and invite us to the family breakfast at our local Elmer’s restaurant. “Matthew, this is Grandma”, she’d say, and he would respond by saying, “Yes Grandma, I know it is you, it says your name in my phone” and they would share a laugh.
Did I feel like a jerk and a failure on the days when I couldn't hang with the super stepmoms? Sure. But you can't base your days or family dynamics on other blended families or stepparents. It's okay to not have it figured out, it's the quitting that's bad. You have to ask yourself why God has put you where you are and how you can be used for good. There is a purpose to his plan, and you are more than capable.