I'm unsure of the exact moment I stopped grabbing the "oh &#$%" handle or stomping the non-existent brake on the floorboard as she drove. I'm not even sure when I stopped turning down her radio so she could pay better attention while driving. But I must have because today I found comfort in my new [...]
This photo now shows all that it had before and so much more. It isn't just the addition of another person; it showcases life. Real, down to the nitty-gritty life in all it's glory and differences. It shows dedication, commitment and choosing each other - even on the really difficult days. The days when people who have been blessed in not experiencing the blending of two families, will almost always misunderstand us. The days when I'm told I will never be his "real" mom because he has a biological mother already. The days he is told he is not my "real" son because I didn't give him life. Those are the days we choose each other more and now we are very much mother and son.
The worst part is that there are people who think this is what they deserve! That this is the best they can have. That no one will love them outside of this relationship. That they have nothing to offer the world, no dream to chase, no voice to be heard, or gift to be shared. They look in the mirror and see failure, ridicule, embarrassment and despair, when instead they should see strength, honor, integrity, beauty, hope and success. And love, damn it! You should look at yourself in that mirror and see LOVE, for yourself.
You are welcome to exit my life, at any given moment. The door is always open for you to do so. Rarely will I hold it for you as you exit, or lock it behind you, but I will most assuredly not prevent you from walking out of it. Your life, if you choose to have me in it, will get easier once you understand I am who I am. And, I love her. I love what I fight for, what I believe in, and who I believe in. And, if you're in my life that includes you.