So, if you're sitting at someone's house and you've got that pit in your stomach because you just don't feel accepted, or welcome...trust me girl, grab your cute little striped hey dudes you left by the door, and get the heck out off there now. Yes, I know they just poured you a margarita, with salt on the rim, but hear me when I say, that vulnerable moment you'll have which prompts you to share "anything" on drink two... it's already shared with someone who isn't even there. That's why there is a pit in your stomach to begin with. Good friends, and kind people; pits don't accompany them. Growth, sunlight, warmth and happiness surround them, those are your people.
Trust me when I say that in my younger years of stupidity I was judgmental with unrealistic expectations. My preconceived notions of how I would wear and walk in anyone else's shoes better or differently than they had were obnoxious. Especially when I was walking with my shoes on the wrong feet, to begin with, or barefoot even. Fast forward to forty-year-old, heavily flawed me, and while my shoes are now at least on the right foot, I just love walking next to anyone who doesn't have it figured out, who has lost their way and maybe even a shoe or two. Those are my people.
When you listen to someone detesting anything, very firmly and feeling that their convictions are backed by the bible, and God - it is frightening to say you've sinned in the same way. As I heard the way he spoke and thought of this woman, the very thought to say - I'm just like her, made me nervous, but I knew it was necessary for me to be obedient to my promise to God, to be a vessel and share his grace and forgiveness in my life.
What most fail to see is that our God is a loving God. He creates beauty from our ashes and works all things for the good of those who love him. You see, God was with her that awful day 23 years ago. He held her hand the day she suffered and thought she was alone. Although he disapproved of what she was doing, he never stopped loving her. Just as a loving father does. And, on the night a few weeks later when she closed her eyes pleading for him to take her life for the life she took, and for his forgiveness, he had answered her prayer.