This post was in my drafts and only had the title. It made me laugh a little when I opened it expectantly, and the cursor just blinked on a blank page. The Unpolished Christian… ahhh the story of my life. Unpolished, unfinished, coarse, stripped, raw – the safe space where it is okay to just be Jesus and Jess.
Do you ever sit with Jesus and ask, “What do you want to talk about today?” for me, that is what my writing is. It is just my one on one time with him, sorting out my feelings and sharing his responses. Sometimes it’s hard truths, and those posts stay in my drafts…just teasing, kind of. But seriously, if you were to give Holy Spirit full access to speak through you today – what would he say? If you were to close your eyes and imagine sitting on a warm shoreline (or a place of your choosing) and Jesus walked up and sat beside you – what is the first thing that would happen? Aside from you freaking out?
Me, I’d cry. I know I would because I cry about everything. I would apologize for everything under the sun again, and then I would hug him, thanking him for everything he has done for me and loving me. It would be the best hug. Can you imagine that hug, the safety, the acceptance, and feeling of completely being known? Then I am sure I would awkwardly break a beautiful moment by asking if I died…because I am just that girl, and Jesus would laugh because he wouldn’t expect any less from me.
However, what Jesus wouldn’t do is sit beside me, belittle me, chastise me, and tell me how worthless or unlovable I am. He wouldn’t recount my mistakes, though I’ve made them, and he wouldn’t choose to sit beside someone more qualified, refined, or polished. He would prefer to sit beside me because I decided to have him sit beside me. Fear is a liar, and fear tells us that to have a relationship with Jesus requires refinement, but it’s his fire, which refines us that we need.
Sitting on the shoreline, I could see Jesus writing in the sand and showing how the water washes the lines away as a representation of sin when we bring it to his feet. He shows me an unpolished cup with his fingerprints all over it and how one would think it needs polishing, but it’s proof of his craftsmanship. He explains that often we apply something topical before polishing – so what truly is the point? Why not leave the fingerprints? The scars? The imperfections? and trust him to work on those with us. Not to mention that is where our testimonies lay, and the opportunity to highlight his grace in restoring lives.
The expectation isn’t to be polished Christians – if we were, the bible would exist with only people just like Jesus. Instead, it is full of people just like you and me, unpolished and imperfect, who need Jesus.