Y’all I’m having a real hard time. It’s not just living every day with the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. It’s living every day with kindness and poise on one shoulder and calling everyone out on their bullshit on the other.
You see it, I know you do. But because calling people out aligns itself with judgment and involving ourselves in matters that are none of our business we let it go. And, we let it go. And…we..let..it..fricken..go some more.
But, what about when it is our business? What about when it is personal? You have two choices, either address it, risking making yourself entirely vulnerable or you say nothing, leaving them on their high horse while you take the high road. Well, I’m tired of taking the damn high road! The high road is under construction until further notice.
You don’t have to be nice to not be a pushover. You can set boundaries and have expectations of how others treat you – that is healthy. And, if they treat you like crap, you can absolutely call them on it, ask for it to change and if it doesn’t, bye! Bye bye, see ya later, ain’t no body got time for that. Zero tolerance, zero time.
In my life I’ve lived through some unhealthy situations which created some unhappy and even angry times. If you hurt me, I’d cut you out of my life, no hesitation whatsoever. And, I’d use my tongue of daggers and make sure to hurt you back. It was my way of ensuring that I completely obliterated that burning bridge and noone could cross it ever again. And, basically people thought I was a bitch. I, thought I was a bitch. So…I changed.
With happiness, maturity, and life experience I learned that not every action deserved a reaction. That sometimes, like in my past, hurt people – hurt people. I found myself stepping back and evaluating others actions and offering the benefit of the doubt before the verbal beheading and ostracizing. The feeling was incredibly freeing, and my heart grew in ways I never thought were possible. Patience became a virtue, kindness manifested itself within me and the desire to just let people be themselves took over. Daily I would catch myself questioning ” how does their opinions or actions affect you? Oh, it doesn’t? Then let it go!”
But, eventually this stops working. One day you’ll wake up and find that you’ve taken the high road so many times, that the grooves from your heavy footsteps have broken through the pavement of your soul. And much like highways and back roads with potholes, you have to close down for repair and take the detour.
What is the detour though? Are you gonna take a right on – It’s not worth the argument Drive and take the next left on – Maybe they’re unhappy Lane, and then continue on down to Disillusionment Circle? OR, are you gonna take a left on – Don’t take me for granted Street, merging into – I require better Freeway with a carpool lane!?!
Look, all jokes aside, it’s actually super simple. People do not get to live in your head rent free. People’s opinions of you are none of your business. These things you can control. You’re reactions or lack thereof allows the way people treat you, and it will continue. If you don’t respect yourself enough to say something is not okay, noone else will either. You are what you allow.
Stop allowing others to treat you like garbage. Stop letting them hurt you. Stop letting them manipulate you. Stand up for yourself and if they can’t appreciate and respect you as you deserve, then send them on down the High Road, without telling them it’s currently under construction.